A Tale of Two Penpals
I had planned this post for the week of Thanksgiving, as I was thinking of what I’m the most thankful for this year – and it’s PEOPLE and the interaction with them in person that I miss more than anything. But, I was thwarted by a virus – no, not THAT virus, but a computer virus my website got! Fortunately, I called in my tech support team and it was resolved in 24 hours – whew! So here is the long-awaited post about a VERY long friendship…fix a nice drink and put your feet up for this one!
Once upon a time, a little girl from a farm in Kentucky went on vacation to the beach with her family. Another little girl from the suburbs of Washington D.C. also went to the same beach with her family. One day they found themselves in the hotel pool at the same time, and being the same age, began to play together. The next day they found themselves on the beach and had great fun playing together yet again. Although they were only seven years old, they exchanged mailing addresses and promised to write to each other.
A couple of years later, they began a halting correspondence, sporadic at first, then more regular and detailed. They shared the same language and nationality, but their lives were at first so different. The country girl (ok, that’s ME!) lived on a farm that raised sheep, and worked a lot in their huge vegetable garden. The city girl (Janet) lived in a brick ranch house in the suburbs. Her father worked for the government as a systems analyist – and neither of us had much idea what that meant.
But we had far more in common. We both loved David Cassidy, and the films of Errol Flynn. We recorded Casey Kasem’s Top 40 onto cassette tapes off the radio on New Year’s Day and had the year’s top hits for free – plus all those radio commercials! We both went to church every week, one Catholic, one Presbyterian. As we wrote more often, our bond grew stronger each year.
By high school, our letters were multiple pages, typed single-spaced, every few weeks. We were each others’ confidants, who really understood. The summer we turned 16, we decided to meet for the first time since the beach. Janet saved her money, and flew, by herself (which was a really big deal) from Washington D.C. to Lexington, and came for a week’s visit to the farm.
She brought ALL my letters with her, and I had saved ALL hers in order, so we read them back to each other, staying up the wee hours every night and giggling our heads off. We slept with the windows open in our old farmhouse, and the first night, as we were finally dropping off to sleep, she asked “what is that NOISE”? Hearing nothing but silence, I said “WHAT noise?!?!?” She said “it’s the BUGS”!!!!!, never having heard insects at night through screens…
The next year, I saved my money and made the reverse journey to the D.C. suburbs, where we read the single intervening year’s letters, and saw the sights of Washington D.C. The Metro was new, sleek and like something from a sci-fi movie. The first night there, we were finally ready to drop off to sleep and I said “what’s that NOISE?” She said “WHAT noise”? I then realized – “the AIR CONDITIONING!” (we had none in those days at the farmhouse).
We moved on into our college years, sharing experiences of community college, liberal arts college and public university. We saw each other every summer, and had a week at the beach on the Jersey shore (only the best for us!) the summer after we graduated.
The next year I moved to Germany, and we didn’t let that opportunity pass for a 3-week extraganza (on a shoestring, of course) to Munich, Rome, Venice, and a cruise of the Greek islands. Europe has never been the same since…
Clockwise from upper left: Corfu, aboard the Romanza, Vatican Square, Munich biergarten, Rome
When I got married (the first time), Janet copied ALL my letters and postcards over the years and had them leather-bound for my wedding present! It weighs nine pounds.
Letters gave way to phone calls, emails, Facebook and texts. But most years, we managed visits, and for one short year we lived just a few miles apart. We celebrated our 40th “friendiversary” at a B&B in Virginia. When we arrived, they had “Happy Anniversary, Janet & Mary Katherine” written on the chalkboard in the lobby, as they thought we were “partners” – we had a good laugh over that…
For what we decided was our 50th anniversary, we took a cruise together on a sailing ship in Maine on the Penobscott Bay, the J&E Riggin. It was truly magical, and the best food I’ve ever had on vacation, ANYWHERE – and all cooked on a woodstove on a ship under sail! Our cabin was laughingly called a “suite” because it was big enough for two people to stand up at the same time – bwahaha! I can’t wait to do this again…
I hope I’m lucky enough to have many more decades of friendship with this amazing woman, who’s had my back through thick and thin. I also hope that you have friendships you treasure. They take work to nurture, forgiveness and patience, kindness and compassion, and willingness to pick up the phone, a pen or a keyboard when you realize it’s been a while. For those who prove to be worth your time, the reward is immeasurable.
Here’s to another 50 years, dear Janet!
18 Comments
Nancy
Wow, this is a very special friendship. What a beautiful story!
mkmiller
I’m so glad you enjoyed it, Nancy!
Janet
This is such a beautiful tribute to our very special life together. I always treasured my visits to the farm, and our time together. To many, many more adventures, my dearest friend.
P.S. That picture of us at The Shoot in 2007 has always been my favorite.
P.P.S. I can’t believe you posted that “glamour shot”! *Cringe*
P.P.P.S. Remember how we used to end our letters with multiple P.S’s? Love you!
mkmiller
Thank YOU so much for not being distracted by my “creative license” with a few details…The Shoot 2007 photo is my favorite, too. I couldn’t resist the glamor shot – I only wish I had one too from that time! A treasure-trove of memories to be sure. Grateful for this opportunity to document what this has meant to me over the years, and this just scratches the surface!
Jules
Great story! And I love the expression “over served “, it has happened to me with my girlfriends a coupla times, haha.
mkmiller
Glad you enjoyed it, Jules! Sometimes those drinks keep jumping in our glasses, don’t they?
jodie filogomo
OMG….this is it. This is life in a nutshell…the connections and laughter. The love and friendship.
Of course you tell a story like no other MK. I could tell this same story and it wouldn’t be nearly as entertaining.
I have to admit, I didn’t know which one was you in the first set of photos. And who names a place Sea Oatel?? Where they missing the “H”????
XOXO
Jodie
mkmiller
Jodie, this is such a compliment coming from a great story-teller like yourself! Its hilarious you couldn’t tell which one was me…The Sea Oatel was actually a play on words, referring to the “sea oats” that grow along the dunes (which are now protected to prevent beach erosion). Janet and I have a “plan” for when we’re both old ladies and we’ll run a B&B on the Outer Banks, and call it the Sea Oatmeal – we’ll have culinary events, etc. – our version of fantasy football – bwahahah!
Jacqui
Oh wow! Just come across you site via the #linkup What a wonderful story it’s lovely to read.
Do join my #chicandstylish #linkup over here in the UK. Would be lovey to have you.
Jacqui
mkmiller
Hi Jacqui! Thanks so much, I’m really glad you enjoyed it. Will be flattered to link up!
mireille
What an amazing friendship! My best friend lives in France and we have had many years where we haven’t seen each other but we continue to communicate nowadays through what’s app. We went there last year and the hope is to get together just me and her for our 50th birthday. To many more years of friendship!
http://www.chezmireillefashiontravelmom.com
mkmiller
Isn’t the technology we have available amazing, Mireille? I remember waiting weeks for letters, and phone calls were too expensive to even think about!
Gail
What a charming and amazing story Mary Katherine! I can totally relate as I had a number of penfriends starting from age 11, although I only ever met one of them, when we were 17. It’s brilliant that you and Janet have been firm friends for 50 years!
mkmiller
Thanks, Gail. My friendship with her has been one of the most satisfying things in my life. In the last couple of years, I am finding a similar pleasure from establishing relationships through Instagram and following blogs like yours. I’ll catch myself saying “I have a friend who lives in Yorkshire…” and then I’ll realize, well, no, not really a “friend”, but someone whose life I follow and vice versa…
David
You guys have such a beautiful friendship!
mkmiller
Thanks – it’s been such a blessing through the years…
Steve Van Albert
Hi Mary K. (as you were known to us),
Great write-up of an amazing story. Janet has treasured your friendship throughout. You were a constant in her life as we heard stories about you during many dinners (appropriate stories, that is 😆).
But the beginning was even more tenuous….didn’t one of you have to slip their address under the windshield wiper of the car because you couldn’t find each other on the last day?
All the best,
S
mkmiller
Great to hear from you, Steve! Funny to think how you’ve been a spectator to this 50-yr relationship…I had totally forgotten about the address-under-the-windshield part – wow! How easily so many elements of that could have gone sideways and I would have missed one of the most satisfying relationships of my life! Thanks for the reminder:)