30 Days and 30 Ways to be a Better Ally

I have just finished completing a short anti-racism program called 30 Days and 30 Ways to be a Better Ally https://allyresourceguide.com/.  It has been REALLY educational, and at a price of $27, it was real value for money (less than a dollar a day…).  I’d recommend this for folks who want to start on a personal anti-racism journey, and have a limited amount of time to devote to it.  This program takes about 10-20 minutes a day – sometimes less, sometimes more, depending on what research rabbit trails you find yourself on.

The author, Gloria Atanmo, is the American-born child of Nigerian immigrants and a travel blog writer who has travelled to over 80 countries, former semi-pro basketball player, speaker and business coach.  These experiences, as well as “30 years of being Black”, give her a broad perspective and a thought-provoking, gently-challenging voice.

One of the principles of the program is doing it with a “buddy”, both for accountability and to have someone to bounce things off of.  I asked my oldest friend, Janet, to do it with me.  We both come from very similar, upper-middle class, ultra-white backgrounds, raised in the 1960’s and ‘70s.  We did run across some revealing differences between growing up in a small town in the upper South and the affluent suburbs of DC, and parents from the northeast US vs. Appalachia.

Each of the 30 days’ prompts are different – whether a short video to watch, conversation starter with family & friends, or quote for journaling and reflection – and designed to inform and provoke introspection.

Examples include:

• an explanation of why most Black people in the US prefer the term “Black” (always capitalized) over “African-American”
• why it’s so awkward when people ask “where are you REALLY from” to a person of color
• why Black women’s hair is a “thing” – the history of it, the number designations of texture and curl types, and why it’s NOT ok to ask to touch it…
• examining what types of Black representation we grew up with in popular media (TV, magazines) and what that taught us

The big “aha” moment for me was the prompt to “imagine what your life would be like if you had been born Black” – grown up in the time and space where you did, but in an average Black family.  I would not have gone to private schools in grades 1-3, although I would have gone to the same public high school. I would not have had parents with graduate degrees, and always known I would follow my siblings to college. I probably would NOT have gone to college, but would have gone to work in one of the local factories or perhaps to an office job with the state.  I certainly would NOT have travelled around Europe, and gotten a job there, nor all the consequences that came of that. 

That exercise has made me examine my privilege by looking at more situations through that same lens.  I recently went on a camping trip with my two best friends, to a state park a couple of hours away.  We discussed it the first night as we set up camp, and all agreed that if we were 3 Black women, we would NOT feel safe doing this.  I did not see one other Black person in the whole (large) campground, and the nearest town was one of Kentucky’s notorious “sundown” towns –  The term comes from signs posted up until a few years ago, that “colored people” had to leave town by sundown, and I heard this about this town from Black students of mine in Lexington and friends who grew up there – it is not a myth.  It is tax dollars from all the citizens of our state that fund these park facilities, yet they’re only used by white folks.  That makes me mad.

Because if Breonna Taylor can have her door broken down an hour west of here and be shot to pieces while minding her own business in her own apartment, and no one responsible is charged with her murder, how would three Black women feel safe to sleep in a tent after driving down country roads past houses draped in Confederate flags to get to the campground, and being the ONLY people of color? And if my Black sisters are not safe here, how can I sleep soundly under the starlight, and savor my wood-grilled supper, except to wrap my white privilege around me like a sleeping bag….

Back to 30 Days and 30 Ways, though – if you’ve read White Fragility and Waking Up White (excellent first steps in anti-racism efforts), it’s time to start listening to Black voices about their experiences.  This program is an excellent way to do that.  So, grab a buddy and an open mind, and commit to a worthwhile journey for the next month.  A month from now, your eyes will be open wider, and you may be ready to start flexing some anti-racism muscles.

Please share in the comments if you’re familiar with this resource, or others you might recommend and why.